"Your dress is too short."
Thanks, the designer used your dick for inspiration.
OH MYG OD
sometimes i think i’m sassy and then i realize i’m just too sarcastic and borderline mean
My mother said to always keep my happiness to myself, to never whisper it to others. People will evil eye you, even if they don’t mean it, even if they love you, even if they have beautiful souls, she said. They can’t help the evil that resides in them, so protect yourself. Remain silent.
that random moment when you suddenly remember someone who is no longer in your life and it feels like a knife through the chest
1. Don’t try to piss quietly. Nobody in a public restroom thinks you’re knitting in your stall. They came to piss, just like you. And if you have to take a dump, do it. Get over your fear of public toilets. It’ll make life a lot easier.
2. Masturbate. Masturbate a lot. Talk about it with your friends. You’ve got the right to make yourself feel good and brag about it just like all the boys with extra large kleenex packages on their desks.
3. If you want the large fries, get the large fries. Hunger and appetite are nothing to be ashamed of, just human. Don’t ever feel guilty for eating in front of others. You need to nourish your body to stay alive. We all do.
4. Laugh as loud as you have to, no matter if you snort or gasp or literally scream.
5. Fart when you have to.
6. Always remember you weren’t born to visually please others. Forget the phrase “what if they think it’s ugly”. If you think it’s lovely, it is lovely. You wanna wear it, wear it!
7. Speak your mind! You can learn to do so without insulting others or shoving your opinion down other people’s throats.
I’m good at math. U + I = 69
Wait that would mean that I = 59 because U sure are a 10
No. U + I = 145 as the atomic number for Uranium is 92 and the atomic number for I is 53. Cause we got chemistry.
for god’s sake why all these people are so smooth omg